So Joel just posted the Mark Driscoll quote that gives me so much trouble, and I realized something. So many Calvinists I know or have heard of either elitists or jerks. They all have this complex that they know everything that comes out of their mouth is truth. They have the whole “God’s sovereignty wins” trump card that beats me in every theological discussion I’ve ever had. Man. I’m sick of reacting with love… time fight fire with fire!
When’s the last time you heard an Arminian talk with the cocky confidence a Calvinist seems to have? Didn’t think so. I’ve never met a prick Armenian before.
So, I decided I’m going to be that guy. The Jerk Arminian. I can’t wait for the next time a theological argument comes up! I can just imagine…
Calvinist: So, Derek, how have you been growing in your faith lately?
Me: Oh, you know. I’m being drawn closer tot he image of Christ every day, because my understanding of how God relates with mankind actually makes room for spiritual formation.
Calvinist: I wonder if I’m part of the elect…
Me: Can’t really know if you’re a Calvinist, can you? According to you, Jesus wasn’t powerful enough to save EVERYONE.
Calvinist: I’ve really been feeling my depravity lately.
Me: I haven’t. Jesus is actually at work inside me, changing my nature to be like his. In fact, I’m completely sanctified. And you’re a heretic.
Man, I can’t wait.
(p.s. Please don’t take this seriously. I don’t hate Calvinists, nor do I think they’re self-righteous jerks. Nor am I going to be a jerkoff Arminian. Yet.)
6 responses so far ↓
samburke // April 30, 2008 at 4:27 pm
BTW… just a quick sidenote… #1) I have met many (stress MANY) prick arminians… {it’s a matter of perspective I guess} and many self-focused (but claim to be God-focused elitist calvinists, and #2) I would hope that no one would classify me as an elitist calvinist prick.
I think that it’s all in the way you take your stands and what you’ll choose to admit you don’t know.
d. weed // April 30, 2008 at 5:57 pm
agreed. At indiana wesleyan there were a LOT of them, and they thought calvinists were all idiots and would make fun of them in class.
i like arminian thought primarily because it works for me, not because i think it’s right: i just think it’s too easy to get to thinking your worldview is the only one God honors.
loudandclear87 // May 1, 2008 at 8:51 pm
you are all wrong…..john piper owns the truth
samburke // May 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm
joel… I’m interested in what you would say John Piper’s position would be according to this blog… you’ve caught my attention… please do tell!
jermtech // May 21, 2008 at 10:12 am
What’s the deal, Derek? No new posts in almost a month? Don’t leave us hanging, dude…
gretchenannlee // May 25, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Last post April 30th, come on….